May 10, 2025

Hi all!

We are more than half way through our respective residency years. How is everyone feeling? Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the last few years of residency as I’m set to graduate in a few months (wild!). It’s been a roller coaster filled with tremendous growth but also fatigue, frustration,  and sheer exhaustion. I realized these pent up thoughts are the product of the last five years. Preventable patient mortality, inevitable patient deaths, the transition from idolizing  those ahead of you (the medical hierarchy is alive and well) to then realizing no one needs to be idolized. Being the catch all as a resident because “it will be a learning opportunity”.  The once eager intern has been replaced by a somewhat jaded soon- to- be- attending. My inner dialogue often wrestles with conflicting feelings–we wouldn’t be the physicians we are today without this process. Yet, two things can be true: experience is essential in residency, and the systemic undercurrents still need repair. We have to make the system better and that starts with talking about it candidly. The shining stars in all of this are the patients and colleagues that change us forever. I am so thankful for them. 

S